so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
