That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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