Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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