I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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