HIV tests are more positive than that guy
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
