Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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