You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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