I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
