I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
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Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Randomize