good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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