If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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