I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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