i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
