At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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