Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
