If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
me + whiskey = a bad person
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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