Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
