You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
