She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
