so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
