Your favorite bartender is back from prision
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize