He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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