she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
