Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
