I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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