I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Drunk is not a location!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
