Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
