Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
