yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
