Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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