You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
