Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
