I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
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I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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