I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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