You're my little dorito
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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