Me too!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
