yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
