Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
