got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize