just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
