Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Alive.
So much puke
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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