i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
