If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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