hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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