make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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