Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
