i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize