Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
you never un-have a 4some
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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