Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
