I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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