The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize