that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
