I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
