**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together