Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
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there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
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So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.