They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.