There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
