he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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