I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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