I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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