i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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