I can't watch pbs sober anymore
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
