Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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