How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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